Releasing the Need for Approval: How to Stop Seeking Validation and Trust Yourself

In today’s world, it’s easy to fall into the trap of seeking validation from others. Whether it's approval from family, friends, colleagues, or even strangers on social media, many of us spend time and energy chasing external approval to feel worthy. But constantly relying on the opinions of others can hold you back from living authentically and trusting your own instincts.

Releasing the need for approval is a transformative step toward self-trust, freedom, and personal growth. In this blog post, we’ll explore how you can stop seeking validation from others and start trusting yourself.

Why Do We Seek Validation?

Seeking approval from others is often tied to our need for belonging and acceptance. From a young age, we learn to rely on external feedback—praise from teachers, parents, or friends—to gauge our self-worth. As adults, this pattern can continue, especially when we face pressure to meet societal expectations or fit in with specific groups.

The problem with seeking validation is that it shifts the power of self-worth from within to outside sources. When you depend on others to define your value, you can become overly sensitive to criticism, feel unworthy when approval doesn’t come, and make decisions based on what will please others instead of what aligns with your true desires.

The Consequences of Constantly Seeking Approval

Relying on external validation can lead to a range of negative consequences:

• Inauthentic Living: You might start making decisions based on what others expect of you, rather than following your passions or interests.

• Self-Doubt: The more you seek approval, the less confident you become in your own abilities and judgment.

• People-Pleasing: You may prioritize other people’s needs and opinions over your own, leading to burnout or frustration.

• Fear of Rejection: Constantly worrying about what others think can make you hesitant to take risks or try new things.

Ultimately, seeking approval from others can stop you from living authentically and fully embracing who you are.

How to Stop Seeking Validation and Trust Yourself

Letting go of the need for approval doesn’t happen overnight, but with practice and self-awareness, you can learn to trust yourself and make decisions based on your own values and desires. Here are some strategies to help you release the need for validation:

A. Recognize the Patterns

The first step in breaking free from approval-seeking is to recognize when and why you seek validation. Do you feel anxious about decisions unless someone else approves? Do you post on social media looking for likes or comments? Start noticing the situations where you’re most likely to seek approval and reflect on what’s driving that behavior.

B. Shift Your Focus Inward

Instead of focusing on external feedback, start tuning into your own thoughts, feelings, and desires. Ask yourself: What do I think? How do I feel about this decision? What do I truly want? Shifting your focus inward helps you build self-awareness and connect with your inner voice.

C. Affirm Your Self-Worth

Your worth is not determined by what others think of you. It’s important to remind yourself of this truth regularly. Practice positive affirmations such as “I am enough,” “I trust myself,” and “My opinion matters.” Affirming your worth helps build confidence and reduces the need for external approval.

D. Set Personal Boundaries

Setting boundaries is an essential part of learning to trust yourself. When you constantly seek approval, you may allow others to cross your boundaries to please them. Take the time to establish clear boundaries about what’s acceptable in your relationships, both personally and professionally. This will empower you to prioritize your needs and values over others’ opinions.

E. Embrace Imperfection

One reason we seek validation is that we want to avoid criticism. But the truth is, no one is perfect, and everyone makes mistakes. Embrace your imperfections as part of the human experience. When you stop striving for perfection, you’ll feel more comfortable trusting yourself, even when you’re not certain of the outcome.

F. Take Small Risks Without Seeking Approval

Building self-trust takes practice, so start by taking small risks without seeking external validation. It could be making a decision on your own, trying something new, or speaking up for yourself in a situation where you might normally seek approval. Each time you do this, you’ll strengthen your ability to trust yourself and rely less on others’ opinions.

Building Self-Trust for Long-Term Growth

Trusting yourself is a journey that requires consistency and patience. Here’s how to cultivate self-trust for long-term personal growth:

A. Reflect on Past Successes

Reflect on times when you trusted your instincts and things turned out well. Celebrate those moments, no matter how small, to remind yourself that you have the ability to make good decisions without external approval.

B. Stay True to Your Values

Identify your core values—the principles that guide your life—and make decisions based on them. When you live in alignment with your values, you’ll feel more confident and less reliant on others’ approval.

C. Surround Yourself with Supportive People

While it’s important not to rely on others for validation, having a supportive circle of friends or mentors who encourage you to trust yourself can be beneficial. Choose people who uplift you and respect your boundaries.

D. Be Patient with Yourself

Learning to trust yourself takes time. Be patient and compassionate with yourself along the journey. It’s okay to make mistakes or second-guess yourself occasionally; what matters is that you’re actively working to release the need for approval.

Trust Yourself to Live Authentically

Releasing the need for approval is one of the most empowering steps you can take toward living a more authentic and fulfilling life. By trusting yourself, you gain the freedom to make decisions that align with your values, pursue your passions without fear, and experience a greater sense of self-worth.

Remember, you don’t need anyone else’s validation to be enough. You already are. The more you trust yourself, the more confident and empowered you’ll feel to create the life you truly want.